People People People...

I sometimes don't understand the way some people think and work. When my lecturer used to tell us about office politics and stuff, we used to laugh like mad and swear to never get caught up in it. But is it really possible?

"Don't trust anyone but yourself"

I was told this and I really agree with it. I've let my guard down and it's time to get it back up cause if I don't......... I'm not really sure what will happen but yeah... I just have to.

I sometimes don't understand the way some people work. For me, Shaliza was always the best with her open door policy. If there is a problem, it's much easier to get it solved in that way. But some people just like keeping everything inside. I don't know, but I think I trust people too much. So much so that I get into trouble for nothing. I feel bad for nothing. And seriously, if I am going to feel bad for a person and get into trouble for it, I'd rather not care at all.

Was talking to spongebob and he said that the environment in Exxon has changed. It's not like when I used to work there and my first response was, "Of course la! hahaha...it's cause I left! XD"

So yeah, I guess things are changing. I don't know why, I used to trust people a lot. I'd talk to them about just anything. But they've somehow disappeared. Now, it's so super hard to find even one person to talk to whom I can really trust. In the office, they say rumours spread fast and you've got to watch what you say. Doesn't anyone ever tell a joke anymore? Not everything said is everything meant you know. Somethings are just said to lighten the mood and release tension and stress. Now I know why Alvin and all used to say that they like seeing the new auditors cause the girls come in hot but in 2 to 3 years time, they don't want to see them anymore. @.@ at that time I thought they were super mean but..... it may actually be true. With the lack of sleep, lack of laughter and lack of smiles, anyone would look a hundred years older in 2 to 3 years.

Sigh...I couldn't sleep again last night. I've told myself before that I shouldn't care about what people say or think about me because I know me best and if I know that I didn't do anything wrong, then I don't have to worry.

For a fact, I know that I didn't do anything wrong. But that is by my standards. I don't know about other people's standards. I keep second guessing myself and wondering if what I am doing is actually right. I guess there really is no right or wrong thing to do as different perspectives would give you different views. But it's still keeping me up.

On a lighter note, I'm getting fatter! @.@ hahahaha!!! I have no idea how that is a lighter note, but, it seems more fun than me being depressed XD

People are soooooooooo complicated... I should know, cause I'm one :)

Stop and restart...

The last time I posted here was Jan 2010....It's been more than a year since I've updated this blog. I kind of miss it. I can't really remember why I stopped posting here.

I looked at it awhile ago, and I thought, where did all those happy smiles on my banner go?
They seem to have disappeared. Vanished into thin air. But I guess I was younger at that time. Happier at that time. More positive at that time.

When I smile nowadays, it's a different smile. Older somehow. Amazing how a smile can change over the years. But I want to make it a point to smile. And make it a point to stop worrying about things that are out of my power. I want to bring that smile back. The one that makes me and everyone around me feel like a million bucks.

But the question now is....how?

I'm back :)

I have a new blog too!!

www.prettypinkpoppypetals.blogspot.com

:) hahaha...i don't exactly know why i started a new blog...but i did! XD
So feel free to drop in at the other side..But i suppose i'll be updating this blog too..dunno yet la..see how first..lol..i still like this blog...but i like the other too!! so i think i'llbe keeping both :)
This could be the happy blog...and that can be the depressed blog...or the other way around!

I was supposed to go to bukit gasing with may and jack yesterday...
But may suddenly canceled!!!! But she was sick la...so she said she'll make it up to us ^^
hahaha...so in the end i went with jack lo...
In the end we didn't go to bukit gasing coz its been raining alot...
and we didn't want to get lost in the "jungle" XD
so we went to bukit kiara instead...not as much fun as gasing would have been...
but definitely impossible to get lost there la...lol
We went at about 8 sumthing then finish walking at almost 10...
Then went for breakfast at the indian shop near the thai temple :)
The man asked me where is my family..hahaha..
First time he's seeing me there without my parents i suppose...
Then after that went back to my place for a movie marathon...lol
We only watched 2 movies la..not that much..
The first was duplicity..not a bad show..
hahaha...but i definitely expected a different ending...
then my mum said go and eat something...so i gave him the cheesecake that i made...
then got meringues and cookies and all...lol..
I actually planned to let may try all also wan...but she didn't come ma ^^
So i finished her share last night...lol
Then trying todecide what other movie to watch...i wanted to watch blood...
so i switched it on...after the first scene i switched it off...
hahaha...malas wanna watch all the blood...and slicing and dicing going on...
so the second movie i chose was inkheart :)
I got the dvd a long long time ago but never got around to watching it...
So i finally watched it yesterday!
It was nice..not bad either...hahaha..
Then after that he went back lo...
I was so sleepy! After dinner terus tidur d XD


Then today i made wu kok (yampuffs)... my first try! :)
it turned out fine except that i couldn't get all the crispy stuff to puff around it...lol
but at least it tasted ok la ^^

Last last friday, I went for dinner with my parents friends family at some place called Max Kitchen in KL...
And the aunty was telling us how nice the food there was and everything and then the chef came out and started talking to us..lol
And then she said if you are in KL during lunch you should come here coz the food is really good...
And my immediate thought was, how nice it would have been if i had been told about it when i was still working, then i could bring lum, jen and am...
The second thing that hit me was...i miss them..
And the third thing....we won't have the time to go for lunch together anymore...
So i was feeling kinda sad la...lol
Happy dinner and i was sad...damn annoying...
anyway, the food was really good..
I didn't take pictures though..malas wanna take...lol
But by the end of the night i was happy d! hahaha
The desert was the best!!

Then cause my sis had school hols, we went back to Johor, Singapore and Malacca :)
I just got back on sunday morning ^^
Then had to go and get a present for my niece and go for her bday party..lol
The next day was yesterday...Merdeka...
lol...made lots of cookies...and then we had extra egg white so i suggested that we try making meringues! XD
I never tried making it before but it was soooo fun!!! lol...beat like siao!!
I beat the egg whites untilit was stiff enough for me to turn it overmy head and it didn't fall!!!
hahaha...i felt like it was such an accomplishment! ^^
It's nice :)
And then today, my aunt called me up and said, got summore egg white..lets make it again! lol
so i guess i shall be making more of it ^^

P.A.T.B. Reunion!

The P.A.T.B reunion was today :)
I'm glad I went cause i just found out that DADAH IS LEAVING FOR INDIA!
She's leaving on the 26th of August which is in 11days!!
Angie is leaving later la...only in February.

Anyway, I was a lil late ^^ sorry!
The movie was at 11..I reached at about 11.10?
Anyway, we watched UP!!! UP UP UP!!!
lol...the movie was damn funny!! Very nice!
I had fun watching it :)
Then after that, we decided to go and makan at Italiannies.
Sookie and Rachel hadn't arrived yet...hahaha
so we sat down and did what we generally do best...talk and crap...lol
We sat there for an hour and a half doing that and we didn't order yet!!
Then rachel came ^^
Then we ordered and while waiting for the food to come, we yacked summore!
Angie had seafood carbonara or marinara i think..Dadah had spaghetti and meatballs..
The other 2 girls had salad...And i had Pizza!
I ATE HALF A PIZZA! IN ONE SITTING!
Way too much to eat! I was sooooooooooooooooooo full by the time i was done with it!
hahaha...then we started eating only sookie came!!
We were just catching up on everyone's life....
talk about what we're doing..what other people are doing...
It was fun!! hahaha...and then we were laughing about some things that happened in high school...
And Rachel reminded us that that was 7 YEARS AGO!!
We were saying how we used to talk about what we'd be doing when we were 30 ^^
hahaha...dadah was supposed to be a supermodel and all, posh and stuck up...
Angie would have kids and talk to yvonne about it coz she'd be pregnant!
hahaha...me? I would be the char kuey teow seller!! ^^
Debster was supposed to collect 20 cents and sweep floors...hahahaha
None of it is true la of course ^^ It was just crap we talked about last time...
But it was great to meet up with them coz i haven't seen all of them for AGES and AGES!!!
hahahaha...Anyway, the next time we have a chance to have a full reunion is in DECEMBER 2010!!
when Dadah and Angie and Rachel get back..
so P.A.T.B's try to keep some part of ur calender free XD
Oh and there will of course be another meeting ^^
Before Angie leaves...hahaha...the only question is...
How many ppl will turn up XD

FINAL RESULTS ARE OUT!!!!
Results finally came out..If I remember properly they came out on Tuesday :)
I got a call at 12 sumthing at night telling me that results were out!
I was super shocked...hahaha...then the butterflies startedfluttering around in my tummy ^^
And then my fingers went cold, and i couldnt sit still...hahaha
It took me sooooooooo long to log in!
Or maybe it was because i was so 'gan jiong' to see my results...lol
My results were ok la i suppose...
But i was really dissapointed with my intro to mgmt acct paper...only 59..3rd class..
Its only 1 mark away from second lower!!!! DAMN!
anyway, the rest were ok la ^^
Bs Info Tech Mgmt only 66...2nd upper...
But the other 4 subjects all first class ^^
hahahaha...my statistics was the best which was a super surprise cause my maths totally sucks!
lol...anyway...I PASSED EVERYTHING! i'm happy :)
Now just have to wait for my second year to start in Oct...


And I got the offer for internship and HSBC...
which is a total waste cause my parents made me reject it =.="
Firstly, when i got the first email,i already asked them whether i should say i want it...
they said Yeah! Go la! No Problem!
Then when i get everything arranged and I am supposed to go in on Friday..
They come and tell me things like, i think you shouldn't take it la...
You should go back to Johor and visit your grandmother...
I mean! You should have told me all this before I told the HSBC ppl that i want the internship!!
Pai Seh only! They're not liasing with you! It doesn't affect you!
It affects me! Malu only! Say yes, then when everything is arranged, say sry i can't make it! =.="
Sigh....
If they had told me about going back and visiting earlier, i wouldn't have minded...
At least i could have told the HSBC people straight away that i can't make it...

A weeks worth of stuff...

28th July 2009. Tuesday. I was really clumsy and i accidently hit my foot against the door...My toes started bleeding and i couldn't walk cause it hurt so much!!! then put medicine and all....i couldn't walk properly for like two days!! My mum asked me if i wanted to go and see a doctor. But i said no cause i know that they would probably just give me painkillers. In the end i just suffered with it. On thursday night i realized that my toes didn'thurt anymore. Instead i couldn't feel anything!!!! TOTALLY NUMB!! I was like..shit!! what the hell is hapenning??!! lol...but that was like midnight d...

So the next day on Friday, i went to see a doctor... And the stupid doctor thought that i was making up stories =.=" shewanted to give me vitamins!! She didn't even check my leg until my mum forced her to!!

Then she poked my toes and i said i can't feel anything. So she took the syringe with the needle and started poking my toeswith it and got no response from me...Then only she stared looking serious! =.=" so annoying...i mean, if my toes were fine i wouldn't go and see you la!!! Go and see you for fun meh??!! dumb dumb....Anyway, she then proceeded to take the surgical scissors to my toes...She cut my toe!! and seriously, it was kind of fascinating...i might be sadistic...But you know that it hurts when you cut yourself rite? When she cut my toe, i can see the blood but it didn't hurt..interesting! it was practically like i was painting my toe with red paint...

So in the end, she said that i hurt my nerves...sobs..
And then gave me some medicine...I was like, the feeling WILL come back rite??
She said it SHOULD...
I hope it does :( I miss the feeling in my toes....
I was so scared that she was gonna say something like, we have to amputate your toes or something!!!!
Until today...my toes are still feelingless...sobs...
sigh...

Anyways, on Sunday i was busy at the NASAM charity funfair ^^
Went there at around 6 something am...lol...
Tons of people :)
At 2 pm, they announced that they had made they're targeted amount of 200,000! Yeah!
lol....then they had a victory dance...
i had fun :) i got a nice beanie doggie! Thanks!
hahaha...by the time i got home after dinner and all it was around 10 something at night...
i didn't have time to take a picture of the signs that i made and painted! hahaha

Oh! and something really funny happened...lol
there were scouts helping us out...so i was just talking to one of them la...ask him to help me carry this and that...lol
at the end, he asked me, "erm...i was just wondering rite...how old are you ar?"
hahaha! i told him la, "I'm 19", i was just gonna be polite and ask him back how old are you...lol
but my uncle turned around and told him "she's too old for you"
lol...poor guy turned around blushing and avoided me for the rest of the time he was there...
i felt bad for him la...lol...but it was funny!
i told my mum and she also laughed like shit...hahahaha

Then yesterday, i spent most of the day sleeping....lol..
was damn tired...anyway, i finally got a reply from HSBC...lol
they said got opening for an intern in subang :)
i hope they don't take another half a month to reply my email cause i want the internship! lol

Ryan's birthday was on sunday :)
hahaha...i ate too much and felt as stuffed as a Christmas turkey!!
and Christmas turkey's are stuffed bursting full wan!! lol
and then went outside toplay with the kids..
lol...they were playing bubbles ^^
something which i haven'tplayed since the last time i played with them...hahaha
so i was playing lo...the dog was also damn cute!
he was eating the bubbles....hahaha..
i got lots of pics...but lazy to get them out of my phone ^^

then, on monday...i din do much actually...just stayed at home..then went tomy aunts house and help her babysit my nephew ^^
he's damn cute lo!! hahaha...round n chubby..looks like Roly Oly Poly ^^
hahaha...and his name is oliver...so he's Oli for short :)

then i came home...and din do much again...
at night...thanks to someone telling me about lamb being marinated, i suddenly felt like barbequing! hahaha
something totally random...but i shall do it before the hols are over!! lol

Today was no different than any other...lol
but i went to my aunts house to make cupcakes...
the fun part was the icing part la ^^
decoration!! hahaha...
and when i got home...i really feltlike baking...
lol...something i can doin the next few days i suppose...
if i got time...lol

The NASAM fair is on sunday...
so i'm gonna go n help...lol..
as per usual..its gonna be at tmn.jaya ^^
i still haven't done the sign boards...lol..
lazy la!!

Went to the Maybank Treats points fair with my parents today :)
lol...my mum needed to redeem her points...

then i wore my pink plastic shoes....and got blisters!!!

on both legs summore :( sobs..

anyways...we got the present for Ryan ^^

his birthday party is on sunday! we got him the transformers toy...

bumblebee and i dunno who is the other guy..hahaha

then my mumgot some other stuff alsoand then we left lo...

went to my aunts house...

Oliver was there :) hahaha..

he's so cute!! lol...he was running around and playing..

and then went to pick my sis up (i din drive ^^ lol...still don't dare to)

and came home...

then got ready for dinner lo...

both of us were sitting on the sofa waiting for my parents, and i kept smelling this berry smell!

so when my mumcame out i asked her whether she could smell it...

she said that there was no smell...so i thought it was my nose...

but i kepton smelling it and even though it was a nice smell, it was annoying that i couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from!!!!

after awhile i just gave up la..lol..

then my dad came out...so we were getting upto go out d!

and i saw it!!!

My sisters hands were glittering!!!!!!

seriously! like totally shimmery!! lol

from that, i knew that she took my cream d...

my cranberry shimmer cream!

so i asked her la, "Ashley, did u use my cream?"

her first and answer was "No!"

so i told her la, "don't lie to me!"

and her next answer was, "...abit"

lol!! so i told my mum that i found out where the smell was coming from d!

she was like,how did u know??

so i said la....."Ashley's hands are glittering! "

hahaha....at that time i was kinda pissed at her lo...

cause i got it as a christmas present and i hadn't even opened it yet!

she didn't ask me and just opened it and used it...

i'm wondering hoe many times she's done that already!

hahaha...anyway, open already so there's nothing i can do...

she still has glittery hands!!! ^^